AMERICAN LIE

A great parody of one of America's great songs, by blogger "Paul K." I found this on crooksandliars.com:

Lyrics to "American Pie"

A long, long time ago...
I can still remember
How those Politicians used to make me smile.
And I knew if I had my way
That I could vote and it would pay
And, maybe, we’d all be happy for a while.
But Dick Cheney made me shiver
With every speech that he'd deliver.
Bad news on our doorstep;
I couldn’t take one more threat
I can’t remember if I cried
When I read about Iraq. They lied,
But someone revealed a spy insideThe day democracy died.

So bye-bye, miss American spy.
Sent my Heavy in with CheneySo that Libby could lie.
And them good old boys were sayin we're gonna fry
Singin’, "this’ll be the day that I lie."this’ll be the day that I lie."
Did you vote for hawk or dove,
And do you have faith in Bush above,
If the Bible tells you so?
Do you believe in the Zogby Poll,
Can Bill Frist save your mortal soul,
And can you teach me how to think real slow?
Well, I know that you’re a Repulican
`cause I saw you lyin again and again
You all so hate to lose.
All those red states that once were blues.
He was a lonely teenage drinkin' Bush
With drinkin’ problem and a brain of mush
But his agenda he had to push
The day democracy died.

I started singin’,"bye-bye, miss American Spy."
Sent my Heavy in with CheneySo that Libby could lie
Them good old boys were sayin we're gonna fry
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I lie."this’ll be the day that I lie."

Now for five years we’ve been on our own
the CIA covers – they’re all blown
But that’s not how it used to be.
When we said we have a threat
and asked our allies for some sweat
They said your word is good enough for me.
Oh, and while George Bush was looking down,
the World all though he was a clown
the torture it went onand on and on and on
And while congress closed the parks
and dug for oil to pay the sharks
we weren’t allowed to make remarks
The day Democracy died.

We were singing,"bye-bye, miss American Spy."
Sent my Heavy in with CheneySo that Libby could lie
Them good old boys were sayin we're gonna fry
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I lie.
"this’ll be the day that I lie."

Global warming, summer swelter.
We’re gonna need a fallout shelter
Who knows what will hit us next
But I know we cannot go Into the future without a sun
Why can’t they leave me just one son
Now the stagnant air it needs perfume
Or the lying will resume.
Oh, but we all got up to vote
But they had us all by the throat
They covered up for their mistakes
this government is full of snakes
Impeach them all for goodness sakes
The day Democracy died

We were singing,"bye-bye, miss American Spy."
Sent my Heavy in with CheneySo that Libby could lie
Them good old boys were sayin we're gonna fry
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I lie."this’ll be the day that I lie."

So here we are all in one place,
A generation in disgrace
With no time left to start again
But that’s not how it used to be.
When we said we have a threat
and asked our allies for some sweat
They said your word is good enough for me.
Oh, and while George Bush was looking down,
the World all though he was a clown
the torture it went onand on and on and on
And while congress closed the parks
and dug for oil to pay the sharks
we weren’t allowed to make remarks
The day Democracy died.

We were singing,"bye-bye, miss American Spy."
Sent my Heavy in with CheneySo that Libby could lie
Them good old boys were sayin we're gonna fry
and singin’, "this’ll be the day that I lie."
this’ll be the day that I lie."

So here we are all in one place
A generation in disgrace
With no time left to start again.
So come on people don’t give in
Can’t you see the mess we’re in
Because we are all American
Oh, and as I watched Bush on the stage
My hands were clenched in fists of rage.
No angel born in hell
Could break that satan’s spell.
(Note: immediately past two lines are exactly as they were in original song)
And as our soldiers die in our night
While politicians hide behind their plight
I saw satan laughing with delight (this line as well)
The day Democracy died

He was singing,"bye-bye, miss American Spy."
Sent my Heavy in with Cheney So that Libby could lie
Them good old boys were sayin we're gonna fry
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I lie."this’ll be the day that I lie."

I met a man who made up news
He blamed it all upon those Jews (gee, who could this man be, ignorant Zionists?),
But he just smiled and denied it anyway
I went down to Washington
a million people having fun
and asked to have my America back today
And in the schools our voters met,
A chance to change, or we’ll regret
But not a vote was spoken;
The machines all were broken.
And the three men I admire most:Darwin, Stewart, American Idol’s host
They caught bird flu, and now they’re toast
(this line and the line above it are not only my favorite lines from "American Pie"; they're some of the greatest lyrics ever written. In the actual song, they read, "And the three men I admire most.. The father, son and the Holy Ghost... They all caught the last train for the coast... The day... The music died ("the day" being the day of the plane crash that kiled Richie Valens and Buddy Holley. "Caught the last train for the coast" means that God just wasn't there that day. What an exquisite set of lyrics.)
The day Democracy died.

We were singing,"bye-bye, miss American Spy."
Sent my Heavy in with CheneySo that Libby could lie
Them good old boys were sayin we're gonna fry
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I lie."this’ll be the day that I lie."
They were singing,"bye-bye, miss American Spy."
Sent my Heavy in with CheneySo that Libby could lie
Them good old boys were sayin we're gonna fry
And singin’, "this’ll be the day that I lie."this’ll be the day that I lie."

by Paul K