JUST THE FACTS, FO'AM
Once in a while, you read something that provokes such a gale of uncontrollable laughter that it..... well, provokes a gale of uncontrollable laughter.
Today's New York Times contains an article about how Focus on the Bigotry's founder James Dobson believes that the Republican Party has not sufficiently pandered to social conservative causes since 2004. If Dobson had a brain in that vacuum-dried tomb of hate of his that passes for a head, he would realize that the "social conservatives" are like Willy Loman's orange peels in Death of a Salesman: Willy, in an argument with his boss, said, "A man is not an orange. You can't eat the stuff you want and then throw away the peel." Republicans use the fleshy core of foamy social conservative bigots to gain votes by proposing a blizzard of hate-based initiatives close to election time, and, "suspiciously," once election time is over, the number of these hate-based initiatives dwindles, after the Republicans, thanks to the foamies' having served their purpose: casting their votes so as to have gotten the Republicans re-elected. Once that has been done, the foamies are rightly regarded (well, as far as I'm concrned, they're always rightly regarded) as orange peels.
This bloc of voters does not exactly constitute the brightest group of people you'll ever meet. Thinking isn't its "gig." Truth isn't something it holds in high regard - after all, who needs truth when God is not only on your side but on your speed dial (and you on his?) And facts? To quote one of the bimbos who stole Spock's brain in the immortally bad Star Trek episode "Spock's Brain," "Facts and facts, and WHAT ARE FACTS?"
Having said all of this, here's the item that I read in today's NYT that made me shriek with such laughter:
"James Dobson is on a fact-finding trip to see where Republicans are regarding the issues that concern values voters most, especially the Marriage Protection Act." His spokesman said that "it was too soon to tell the results." No doubt. (I believe this sentence constitutes the only known instance of the word "James Dobson" and the word "fact" occurring within ten paragraphs of each other, by the way.)
Reminds me of that great exchange in Star Trek IV. McCoy believes Spock, who is acting as communication officer, isn't quite "all there." The two are having a conversation:
Spock: "Forgive me, doctor, but I must stop our conversation momentarily. I am receiving numerous distress calls."
McCoy: "I don't doubt it."
Today's New York Times contains an article about how Focus on the Bigotry's founder James Dobson believes that the Republican Party has not sufficiently pandered to social conservative causes since 2004. If Dobson had a brain in that vacuum-dried tomb of hate of his that passes for a head, he would realize that the "social conservatives" are like Willy Loman's orange peels in Death of a Salesman: Willy, in an argument with his boss, said, "A man is not an orange. You can't eat the stuff you want and then throw away the peel." Republicans use the fleshy core of foamy social conservative bigots to gain votes by proposing a blizzard of hate-based initiatives close to election time, and, "suspiciously," once election time is over, the number of these hate-based initiatives dwindles, after the Republicans, thanks to the foamies' having served their purpose: casting their votes so as to have gotten the Republicans re-elected. Once that has been done, the foamies are rightly regarded (well, as far as I'm concrned, they're always rightly regarded) as orange peels.
This bloc of voters does not exactly constitute the brightest group of people you'll ever meet. Thinking isn't its "gig." Truth isn't something it holds in high regard - after all, who needs truth when God is not only on your side but on your speed dial (and you on his?) And facts? To quote one of the bimbos who stole Spock's brain in the immortally bad Star Trek episode "Spock's Brain," "Facts and facts, and WHAT ARE FACTS?"
Having said all of this, here's the item that I read in today's NYT that made me shriek with such laughter:
"James Dobson is on a fact-finding trip to see where Republicans are regarding the issues that concern values voters most, especially the Marriage Protection Act." His spokesman said that "it was too soon to tell the results." No doubt. (I believe this sentence constitutes the only known instance of the word "James Dobson" and the word "fact" occurring within ten paragraphs of each other, by the way.)
Reminds me of that great exchange in Star Trek IV. McCoy believes Spock, who is acting as communication officer, isn't quite "all there." The two are having a conversation:
Spock: "Forgive me, doctor, but I must stop our conversation momentarily. I am receiving numerous distress calls."
McCoy: "I don't doubt it."
posted by EnterCenter at 9:07 AM
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